snapped shot - The Religion of Peace

For Yeniçag, A Gift

nospam@example.com (Brian C. Ledbetter) — Tue, 13 May 2008 21:40:00 -0500

I don't know if this counts as a "funny" parody, but it's wholeheartedly dedicated to the Turkish tabloid that has started whipping up the fires of hatred against the "controversial" Belgian pulpit.

"Bacon is delicious."

On a lighter note, the pulpit does seem oddly reminiscent of the McDonald's playgrounds I used to play on as a kid. With that inspiration, maybe this one will be a bit more understandable:

MoHammed's: We Do Bacon Right.

Of course, considering how Europeans feel about McDonalds, I might be looking forward to a long series of death threats from people named Sven for that last one...

And yes, I'm stickying this post for maximum effect, Yeniçag. I definitely want y'all to appreciate it.

Get-Out-The-Vote, Jihadi-Style

nospam@example.com (Brian C. Ledbetter) — Tue, 13 May 2008 20:55:50 -0500

via Dollard, we see what an Islamist get-out-the-vote campaign looks like (in England). Emphasis on the "out," of course:

Ah, diversity:—What hallowed treasures shall you bring to our shores next?

Police Protection for Provocative Pulpit

nospam@example.com (Brian C. Ledbetter) — Tue, 13 May 2008 18:19:19 -0500

From the Who saw that coming? file, it would appear that the pulpit we mentioned a few days ago is now being targeted by outraged Turks. [Ed.:—Okay, maybe not "Turks," so much as they're "Practitioners of the Religion of Peace."] Of course, rather than dealing with the problem (i.e., people who constantly rage against inanimate objects), Belgian authorities have decided that treating the symptoms is sufficient:

Since Friday, we have received threats while the authorities in Belgium, which has a large population of Turkish immigrants, fear that the pulpit and the church may be attacked. The Belgian press reported today that the police is guarding Dendermonde’s Our Lady church to prevent vandalism to church and pulpit.

While it's good to see that the Belgian government is taking steps to protect an historic church, it is genuinely heartbreaking to see Europe so afraid of actually confronting the root of the problem—A complete and utter inability to speak out against the destructive tendencies of the Religion of the Perpetually Offended. Notice, however, that the Belgian government has plenty of time to speak out against the "real" aggressors here:

According to the Belgian press the pulpit controversy has been deliberately caused by [the Brussels Journal], which is being described as “pretending to be neo-conservative” but run by “neo-fascists.” Piet Buyse, the mayor of Dendermonde, told the media that he deplores that the pulpit “figures on websites which aim to provoke negative reactions from Muslims.” The mayor said that the depicted man represents an unbeliever and may also be Luther or Calvin.

Oh, and while we're on the subject of negative reactions:

Muhammed, properly under foot.

Rage.

Update: If you'll allow me, here's a really brief summary of what's going on. I would've said this earlier, but it hadn't occurred to me yet. (I know, I can be a real slowpoke sometimes.)

Church and pulpit built shortly after ~~Crusades~~ Battle of Vienna
Church sits largely unnoticed for centuries, until
Tourist runs across "interesting" pulpit, takes picture of it, and posts picture to his blog
Picture on blog sits idly by, largely unnoticed for 2 years
Blogger receives hate mail for daring to post the picture, then posts and ridicules letter (once a blogger...)
Photo and a long-winded condemnation are printed in the front page of a radical Turkish newspaper
Death threats ensue, leading to
Inanimate object protected by police, who
Lay the blame for all of this outrage at the foot of our poor tourist.

Seriously—why bother with comedy, when reality is so much funnier?

See Also:

Ace of Spades HQ, Atlas Shrugs, DogfightAtBankstown, Hot Air

Let's Hope Muslims Don't Read This...

nospam@example.com (DMartyr) — Tue, 13 May 2008 12:13:10 -0500

It's bad enough their "prophet" raped a nine year old with the excuse she had supposedly reached puberty. By Islamic standards (or lack of), this one year old child would be eligible to consummate a marriage:

A once-suffering little girl is learning to enjoy life now that a bizarre tumor that caused her to begin menstruating at the age of 14 months has been removed, the New York Times is reporting.

Grace Webster suffered until the age of 3 with a hypothalamic hamartoma or H.H., a benign tumor on the hypothalamus that affects just a few thousand people in the world.

Although the tumor is not malignant, it causes a host of problems including early puberty, symptoms of autism and social maladjustment, and gelastic seizures, also called laughing seizures because of the crooked smile that often accompanies them, according to the report.

FoxNews.com

Brussels Journal Threatened over 17th Century Pulpit

nospam@example.com (Brian C. Ledbetter) — Fri, 09 May 2008 10:10:27 -0500

Of course, the people who threatened Mr. Belien's website still live in the 7th century... but heck, you already knew that:

Your news is very race.If you are continue this your website is must be close. We check your server, database,IP and find this pictures, news.You must be careful. Our father of Turk is Ataturk. We are democratic, laic and muslum. We are not Arabic people.We live for peace. We like "Isa" and "Meryem" They are God childs. We give you 7 days. If you are dont change any news or insult. Turkish attack will be started!

Heck, if it's that offensive, we might as well post it here on Snapped Shot as well. I always love finding new ways of getting fan mail.

Ye Angels, stomping on Ye Mohammed (pork be upon him).

The Religion of Peace Promotes Understanding Between Faiths

nospam@example.com (DMartyr) — Fri, 09 May 2008 07:38:58 -0500

Islam - always a leader in promoting justice and tolerance...

Muslim villagers in Mymensingh district eager to rid the area of the Christian work of a local pastor have gang-raped his 13-year-old daughter, the girl's father said.

Pastor Motilal Das of United Bethany Church said that at around 3 a.m. on Friday (May 2) the villagers sexually assaulted his daughter, Elina Das, and left her unconscious in front of his house in an attempt to drive him and his Christian ministry out of Laksmipur village in Fulbaria sub-district, 120 kilometers (75 miles) north of the capital.

Local residents have long been angry with him for his ministry and evangelism, he said, and he has received death threats.

Fortunately, this child was not a Muslim, else she would have been stoned to death for having the audacity to allow herself to be gang-raped by a bunch of mis-understanders of the religion of Islam.

Allahu achbar!

Top 9 Things Muslims Don't Like

nospam@example.com (Brian C. Ledbetter) — Thu, 08 May 2008 12:17:00 -0500

From the comedic brilliance that is TNOYF:

9. That recurring nightmare where I’m in front of a million screaming jihadists with an American flag and a box of damp matches.

8. When a cranky rotator cuff requires inaccurate, sidearm hurling at stonings.

7. Matzo and Brisket Day in the jihadist cafeteria

6. The inexplicable failure of consumer electronics companies to recognize the marketing opportunity in blood-resistant video cameras.

You'll have to hop on over for the rest. And be sure to read more at Michelle's place and find the authoritative list over here.