Snapped Shot

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Dictatorship Shot of the Day

By Brian C. Ledbetter · Tuesday, October 17. 2006 10:26
The actual moment of Li'l Kim's birth!
Today, I hope to explore more of Kim Jong Il's official biography. Well, his official North Korean biography, in particular.

You may not be aware of this, but Kim Jung Il is considered to be deity in North Korea. That's right, I said deity! So, via my Unofficial DPRK Impersonation Machine, I am proud to bring you the Greatest Story Ever Told (and laughed at):

According to official People's Folklore, again brought to us by Rick Ross, we have now learned that, contrary to the vile propaganda put out by Capitalist Pigs(tm), who have the audacity to claim that Generalissimo Kim was born in Russia during the Korean war, our Great General was actually born at Mount Paekdu!

The Divine Bear Man?
Why is this significant? Well, vile Capitalist, if you cared enough to learn the People's Truth, you would know that the great Korean Nation was created at this very spot, 4000 years ago, by the divine bear-man!

Only upon such a sacred spot could the Sun of North Korea be born! In fact, the moment was so sacred, that a star (not just any star, but THE Socialist People's Star!) shone brightly overhead at the moment of Generalissimo Kim's birth!

While our Great Leader was still a mere child, he would walk amongst his parents garden, calming down and shushing all of the little insects who lived there, so that his father, the Great People's General Kim Il-Sung, could rest his head peacefully from a weary day of doing The People's Work.

Nowadays, our beloved Generalissimo is a celebrated movie director, a world-renowned movie critic, and an artistic genius!

(Ok, now it's back to being the Real Brian.)

It's been a delight to bring you part of the Great Generalissimo's story. Hopefully, I'll be able to share more of it with you at a later time. After all, we don't want to spoil the surprise all at once, do we?
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